Curiosity and the bad guy

When you hear sirens flying down the expressway, or when a dozen squad cars swarm in front of a shopping center, or yellow caution tape is draped around a house down the street, it is human nature to be curious.

And maybe the same goes for relationships.  We are curious. It always seems to be a girl who falls for the bad guy—the asshole—the rebel. 

He doesn’t pay attention to her; it takes him days to return the phone call and hours to return the text message. The simplest things are typically aborted to these types of guys. But we love it. The attraction pulls us in, just like the caution tape, the sirens, and the swarms of cop cars.  

Is it the curiosity that gets us? Maybe that’s what keeps us hanging on.

My girlfriends and I were talking over strong martinis the other night. I explained to them my thoughts on the relation between men and caution tape. They laughed, but understood. 

We want to know what's behind the un-attentiveness, we want more. And the yellow caution tape tells us there’s more. Are you catching on yet?

The guy=caution tape, sirens, squad cars. 

He will dish out the “oh you’re so beautiful”s, flirt with you, promise you the world, and then forget to call you later that night. So this type of behavior creates a type of warning sign, and a curiosity, 'why didn't he call me?', and we hate to love it. 

So what do we do?

We become the caution tape. Stop giving so much information. Instead of the entire, "Oh I'm going to dinner with Susan, Laurie, and Anne tonight at the Blue Iguana and we're going to have sushi and drinks, I should be home around ten."

Stop that. 

Try making them curious. You become the caution tape, let them ask the questions for a change. I'm not saying to ignore your man, I'm saying to worry about yourself first. You do not have to share every last detail with him. 

They will ask, eventually. 

Let them use their imagination. After all, when you see caution tape, you use yours.